About sixty years ago on Flag Day, two little girls got up early in the morning and went to work in the kitchen, making cupcakes. These little girls had met when their moms rented apartments next door to one another after their marriages ended, and the girls had become fast and, it has turned out, life-long friends.
Cheryl was the host. I was staying at her house for an extended visit, as I did most holidays and summer breaks from school.
My mom had moved away from Cheryl’s town and taken my brother and I with her, but my dad remained. He lived in a men’s only residence in downtown Kenosha, Wisconsin, about 19 blocks away from Cheryl’s house, so I could never stay with him, but I was lucky to have Cheryl and her dear mom, Marion, welcome me in whenever I could come. Marion was an X-ray technician at St. Catherine’s Hospital and left the house before dawn most mornings to work, so Cheryl and I were on our own.
The cupcakes turned out well, and we set out. It was my dad’s birthday, and we were going to surprise him with the cupcakes. As often happens in life, the spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak. As we walked, we were tempted to eat first one, then two, and then ultimately all three of the cupcakes we planned to share with Dad.
Oops!
We mustered on, and eventually arrived at the imposing building where Dad resided, standing at the front desk of the huge lobby, two little chocolate-smudged waifs, empty handed, tired and thirsty. The attendant rang Dad’s room and he came down.
We got the surprise part of our visit right. Dad had certainly not expected us to walk so far at our young age, unattended. I honestly don’t remember exactly how old Cheryl and I were that summer, but I remember being small in the distant way adults remember such things.
“Happy Birthday, Dad! We made you cupcakes, Dad, but we got hungry.”
It’s a story my dad always told with affectionate tenderness.
All these years later, that Flag Day is on my mind, along with so many other thoughts and feelings that I believe must be expressed. These are complicated times. . .
My father was a World War II United States Marine Corps veteran, something my brother and I were always aware of. We knew the Marine’s Hymn, and we knew he had learned to talk like Donald Duck while he was in the service, but he was a quiet man who never spoke to us of his battle experiences. Other than his Purple Heart, we never saw a uniform, a gun, or any military artifacts in our home while he lived with us, nor did I find any among his possessions after he died.
Dad was playful and sentimental with us, teaching us about nature and camping and the stars. On his Flag Day birthdays, he enjoyed the simple things—cake and ice cream, tea or coffee, a home-made dinner. He did not use profanity, never used derogatory terms when referring to other people, and abstained from smoking and alcohol, all of which were somewhat unusual among his peers. He believed in staying fit, mind and body.
For many years, while living at the Kenosha Youth Foundation, he walked across the lawn, past its statue of Abraham Lincoln, into the beautiful old library where he read several daily newspapers, and enjoyed reading non-fiction books, mostly medical titles, as I recall. He continued a daily walking regimen all his life.
My Dad
This gentle man died long before the current resident of our White house launched his political campaign, so I cannot say for certain how he would feel about sharing his birthday with him, or whether he would support his policies. Dad was a Republican so I imagine this last decade would have been a challenge for him, certainly in different ways, but perhaps just as powerfully as it has been for me. Dad’s nature was the very opposite of this president. I like to think he would not have voted for him or supported him.
These are the musings of a daughter, his only living child, as the president of United States of America is set to preside over a huge military parade in Washington D.C. for the Army’s 250th birthday. And as National Guard troops and U.S. marines are staked out in the city of Los Angeles against the wishes of the governor and mayor. As ICE agents conduct raids, sweeping up suspected undocumented immigrants. As many of our government agencies are gutted, our history is being rewritten, and kindness and love and We the People seem forgotten.
But also, as over 2000 gatherings of everyday citizens in America and around the world will be protesting.
I will be among them.
I hope he would be proud, but I do not know.
What I do know is that even if he wasn’t proud of my participation, or he didn’t want me to attend because he feared for my safety, he would not try to stop me. He believed in all of the freedoms he fought so hard for in World War II. And I know that no matter what, he would hug me and tell me he loved me as he always did, throughout the many mistakes, successes, and milestones, large and small, of my life.
And if we could spend his birthday together this Flag Day, I know he would smile and tell the story of the little cupcake girls who visited him on his birthday.
LakeArrowheadLadyWriter 
Marvelous juxtaposition of your history with your father and the egotistical delusions of an Autocratic wannabe. We the people.
… Not some of us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much. It is all so weighing on us. We must not give up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I saw a flag that I agree with. We the people are pissed.🤓😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
😌
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderfully written again, I’m proud to have known your father, what a wonderful soul he had. Thank you 😊 hunno
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Michael. I’m so glad you got to know him. He adored you!
LikeLike
Oh, Lori. Thank you for this. I suspect your dad will be smiling tomorrow. Proud of you for knowing what matters most…remembering cupcake girls…and the broader legacy he’s left behind: humility, humanity and service. Selflessness. Qualities so lacking in leadership. With you all the way, my friend. Sending love…in solidarity! 💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Vicki. 💞💞💞 I’m a bit teary-eyed. Humility, humanity and service. Yes. Love you.
LikeLike
Wonderful, uplifting and touching blog post! Your father sounds wonderful, Lori! And something tells me that he would not only be very proud of your participation in tomorrow’s protests, but he would most likely consider that to be the best birthday present ever!! You are helping our democracy, just as he did – different strategies for different times – and he would be appalled, I think, at what this American president is doing to the American people in this time (not to mention his literal support of Nazis!)! Stay safe tomorrow! I am with you in Solidarity!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Anita! I love the idea of different strategies for different times. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow! Solidarity always!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes indeed, Lori! Solidarity always!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful heartwarming insights. I know he is proud of you, your daughters and grandkids. Rosalyn was here last night and today with family( had a wonderful visit as she took care of me after hip replacement). Had a litt
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, Kathy! So sorry you have had surgery. You must have been in pain for some time. I hope the replacement gets you sorted and feeling good again. How wonderful that Rosalyn has been with you. And family! Love you all— always! Get well soon!🙏🥰🙏
LikeLike
He would be proud. Loved your story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you dear Gloria 💞
LikeLike
LikeLiked by 1 person
Trump is a power-crazed jerk. He’s a fascist. Etc, etc.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lori, this post brought tears, so heartwarming about your dad, but also, your words hit home about how my husband and I feel about our current president. Thank you for writing such a brilliant post. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Lauren, for reading and commenting. Your sweet words mean so much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re so welcome, Lori!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🥰
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the cupcake story and tribute to your dad, Lori. Happy birthday to your dad! I’m sure he’d be so proud of you. Thanks for standing up for kindness, love and We the People.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Wynne! This will be our third time gathering in solidarity in Carson City, Nevada. It’s a good feeling to be on the right side of history—praying for everyone.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Stunningly beautiful essay. My dad usually voted Republican, too, but he would not have agreed with this folly going on because it’s not possible to be proud of what’s going on. My dad didn’t have patience for people who suckered others or tried to. Dad loved reading and was very proud that I’d become an author and journalist and teacher and had attended a huge university. I recall one time he asked me to see what I thought of an essay he wrote about fishing. I was so surprised he tried his hand at writing. What a day that was! Thanks for your essay and the lovely cupcake story.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Christine. So good to hear about your father. I love that he supported you and asked your opinion about his writing. I’m sure you are right that both of our fathers would agree with us about current events. Have a wonderful weekend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great stories and memories of your dad, Lori. I have friends from all political parties. Even many of my Republican pals can’t stomach much of what President Trump represents. I think most parents would be proud of their kids for standing by their convictions, even when they may not be in total alignment with their own.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Pete! I’m sure you are right! I appreciate it!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for subscribing to me. I subscribed to you first. How are you doing? What are you doing? What do you during the week? What do you do on the weekend? Talk to you later. Be safe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh Lori, this is so powerfully and wonderfully written. Your dad’s heart really shines through. ❤️I hope your protest went well. I am so proud of you for standing up for what you believe in.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Rose! Your words mean the world to me! The protest in Carson City, NV was beautiful- lots of love and smiles and feeling like we’re not alone.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your dad would assuredly feel proud of you for rallying, for standing up for what is right. He sounds like a wonderful man.
I love your cupcake story. This is a memory of love, even if you and Cheryl ate those birthday treats.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you, Audrey! I sure do miss him! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person