My July Anniversary
Two years of surviving a guileful beast I came to believe was mine to tame
Cancer, claimed, known, accepted
Part of me had to be released
Cut, removed, autopsied, and poisoned
This second year, post-surgery and chemotherapy, so comparatively easy
A quiet dread during tests and waiting for results
A lack of strength, stamina, and confidence
A surprising sadness
Easysmoothnecessaryfreeing
Spiraling around and above year one,
Nothing a nice glass of chardonnay couldn’t soften
Nearly silent
So much to be grateful for…just imagine
No one died for months
No one I was acquainted with
Even my old dog pulled through
Counseling…grief counseling, marriage counseling, cancer counseling… sought and found
Enormous relief
Renewed belief in my ability to teach, and renewed love in the mission
Love in every opportunity
Family ties
Accepting lies, forgiving
Learning to say hello
And good-bye
A massive urge to travel to unknown places
LondonParisMauiMygranddaughter’sheart
Shedding the poverty
Simply shedding any acceptance of being sucked into quicksand, debt and despair
Cultivating a habit of climbing, climbing, embracing the mountain
Insisting on comfort, beauty, and enrichment
Living in a waking body, nearly normal
Moving again in long strides on strong legs
Hope, reborn, is an amazing thing
Closer to God than anything I know
Running through
Spilling over
Kissing the world
Rachel “Lori” Pohlman, July 2013
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